its only right to throw your arms around it.

day three of my energy drink shake diet plan. I have been drinking two shakes to replace breakfast and lunch and then cooking a semi healthy gluten free dinner.

it's hard.
if i weren't SO sore from working out it would almost seem worth it. we'll see come wedding day.

girls are crazy. we always try to make ourselves into some perfect version of ourselves and that's not who we were when we fell in love. I am just trying to look decent for pictures. mainly for myself, i don't wanna cry.




speaking of crying. Danny and i saw away we go two Sundays ago. Ohmigod! I loved it. when is it out of DVD and when i can watch it over and over like i do "the strangers"?



I love how as the lights slowly came up and the credits rolled. My lovely fiance turned to me and said " i can't believe how much soda i drank... i have to piss... that ending was a little dragged out and shit i ate a lot of popcorn... ARE YOU CRYING???!?!?!?!?"

haha i was so embarrassed. But fuck it, it was a great movie.


then this last Monday Aimee and I went to see Julie and Julia. oh gosh. another movie i loved!

I didn't even think I'd like it. it looked a bit cheesy, but it was oddly easy to relate to my own life and problems i have had with obsessing over humans who only turn out to be human and not this perfect mold of exactly what i want to be.
too much pressure to be perfect for them, they don't know that if they twitter every fucking menial moment of their lives and face book every second of everyday that their fans will have to view their lives and lyrics as much much less perfection than a 12 year obsession has previously led them to believe.

It did however make me want to enjoy every minute of my life, stop and smell the flowers, cook dinner at home every night, stare longingly at my fiance and understand how wonderful he is and how lucky i am. oh and i wanna go to Paris!

next i want to see 500 days of Summer and confirm my girl crush on zooey Deschanel.

wheat free life.

two weeks ago I experienced one of my many many debilitating migraine headaches.
I have had these for more that half of my life. it makes living incredibly difficult, or at least planning things because i never know what might set off another headache and leave me out of commission for the day.

When i woke up the following day, i decided to list everything i had eaten the day before in hopes of linking something to the cause.

I realized nearly everything i had contained wheat.


Wheat and gluten are very common allergies for people who suffer from migraines. Which i have known for some time since a friend of mine thought she had a brain tumor and had several MRI's only to find that she was just allergic to wheat. she has since removed it from her diet and as far as i know is doing well.

but since i don't experience a headache daily, i didn't think i could have the same allergy. Until now.

So i have cut it out, and did great for almost two weeks, until this morning i woke up with a pounding on the right side of my face, and blurred vision out of my right eye. Not anything i haven't experienced before.

Instead of trying to make it work (which only makes it worse-- since i have to stand on my feet in a bright white room with loud music) i opted to call in sick. I took a Zyrtec, a shower and a three hour nap. Now, i feel alright. Not perfect but alright.

I an going to continue with the wheat free diet, since i did feel much better the last two weeks. I remain hopeful. Once i am married in September I will have insurance again and get an allergy test. I would prefer to live without the trigger, than over medicate myself with pain killers.

fingers crossed.


as for the wedding, with the new diet plan, i basically can not eat anything we have planned to serve at the wedding reception. ehhh i'll live. I will bring a bag of LB friendly foods.
but i have spent the last hour searching for a wheat free bakery to order our cake through.
i know it's going to cost a bit extra, but it will be worth it. Or maybe, i will get a small cake that is gluten free for the top of our cup cake tower.
things to think about.

5 months to go, we are pinching every penny. I can't wait for it to be over and to go on our honeymoon.


i also want to craft. make music. plant flowers. get a new haircut!