its only right to throw your arms around it.

day three of my energy drink shake diet plan. I have been drinking two shakes to replace breakfast and lunch and then cooking a semi healthy gluten free dinner.

it's hard.
if i weren't SO sore from working out it would almost seem worth it. we'll see come wedding day.

girls are crazy. we always try to make ourselves into some perfect version of ourselves and that's not who we were when we fell in love. I am just trying to look decent for pictures. mainly for myself, i don't wanna cry.




speaking of crying. Danny and i saw away we go two Sundays ago. Ohmigod! I loved it. when is it out of DVD and when i can watch it over and over like i do "the strangers"?



I love how as the lights slowly came up and the credits rolled. My lovely fiance turned to me and said " i can't believe how much soda i drank... i have to piss... that ending was a little dragged out and shit i ate a lot of popcorn... ARE YOU CRYING???!?!?!?!?"

haha i was so embarrassed. But fuck it, it was a great movie.


then this last Monday Aimee and I went to see Julie and Julia. oh gosh. another movie i loved!

I didn't even think I'd like it. it looked a bit cheesy, but it was oddly easy to relate to my own life and problems i have had with obsessing over humans who only turn out to be human and not this perfect mold of exactly what i want to be.
too much pressure to be perfect for them, they don't know that if they twitter every fucking menial moment of their lives and face book every second of everyday that their fans will have to view their lives and lyrics as much much less perfection than a 12 year obsession has previously led them to believe.

It did however make me want to enjoy every minute of my life, stop and smell the flowers, cook dinner at home every night, stare longingly at my fiance and understand how wonderful he is and how lucky i am. oh and i wanna go to Paris!

next i want to see 500 days of Summer and confirm my girl crush on zooey Deschanel.

wheat free life.

two weeks ago I experienced one of my many many debilitating migraine headaches.
I have had these for more that half of my life. it makes living incredibly difficult, or at least planning things because i never know what might set off another headache and leave me out of commission for the day.

When i woke up the following day, i decided to list everything i had eaten the day before in hopes of linking something to the cause.

I realized nearly everything i had contained wheat.


Wheat and gluten are very common allergies for people who suffer from migraines. Which i have known for some time since a friend of mine thought she had a brain tumor and had several MRI's only to find that she was just allergic to wheat. she has since removed it from her diet and as far as i know is doing well.

but since i don't experience a headache daily, i didn't think i could have the same allergy. Until now.

So i have cut it out, and did great for almost two weeks, until this morning i woke up with a pounding on the right side of my face, and blurred vision out of my right eye. Not anything i haven't experienced before.

Instead of trying to make it work (which only makes it worse-- since i have to stand on my feet in a bright white room with loud music) i opted to call in sick. I took a Zyrtec, a shower and a three hour nap. Now, i feel alright. Not perfect but alright.

I an going to continue with the wheat free diet, since i did feel much better the last two weeks. I remain hopeful. Once i am married in September I will have insurance again and get an allergy test. I would prefer to live without the trigger, than over medicate myself with pain killers.

fingers crossed.


as for the wedding, with the new diet plan, i basically can not eat anything we have planned to serve at the wedding reception. ehhh i'll live. I will bring a bag of LB friendly foods.
but i have spent the last hour searching for a wheat free bakery to order our cake through.
i know it's going to cost a bit extra, but it will be worth it. Or maybe, i will get a small cake that is gluten free for the top of our cup cake tower.
things to think about.

5 months to go, we are pinching every penny. I can't wait for it to be over and to go on our honeymoon.


i also want to craft. make music. plant flowers. get a new haircut!

talk talk. all you ever say is "blah blah blah"

Time is ticking away so fast. I can't believe my friend Jennifers wedding, is next weekend! uh. i Don't even have shoes yet! For as busy as i have been I sure have slept a ton this week.

Its seems like i'd rather be asleep, then awake dealing with the clutter and mess.

I should, go grocery shopping and make some healthy foods, instead of bagel bites and spaghetti o's! yuck.. I feel my early am heartburn already coming.
luckily i have bedside tums!


I still need to get a bench for the house. I would LOVE to have a bench, but i may be settling for two chairs and a lil table. either way. i want to cute up this house..

So things that have been weighing on me: Friends.

I saw Aimee last night. We didn't even talk really. she said goodbye on her way out. I guess that's good. since i wasn't really making it easy to hello by hiding behind some strangers.

I just wish things were the way they used to be. I wish that she was still my best friend and we could just laugh about this and go on with our day. But it's not that easy. I will never be the same and that breaks my heart.
I really feel as if i lost more from the friendship then she did. I know she misses me, i know she feels badly about us. But she isn't making an attempts to repair, neither am i. So us two stubborn ladies will remain strangers .

she did like my hat and was upset i had made from of her hair. I didn't make fun of it to her. but she knows i don't like it. I would fix it. if she called me and asked me to fix it. I would. but that's an awkward conversation to start up: "uh your hair looks like shit, lemme fix it!" i don't think so.


So i have made two trips to target lately. filling up on goodies i don't really need. which is exactly what i shouldn't be doing, since work is slow and rent has increased. but who can resist their fall fashions? i finally got a red knit cap ala Elizabeth Town. which was also my sad time movie. I haven't watched it in years. but boy can it make me feel empty inside. I love it.

oh holy hangovers. i could use a coffee.

i have never in my life been a daily coffee drinker. in fact in the last few years i have hardly touched the stuff. but the crazy days i've had have forced me to suck down that sweet caffeine-- now i crave it.
as well, it's better than crack!

so one of my favorite "sleeping songs"

i love this damn song!

Sinus Pressure can lead to blogging.

Thankfully we had set an appointment for the alarm system people to come out today and activate our service. Unfortunately I didn't know we had to have a land line before we could actually do that. So having my shift covered so I could be here for our 11am to 2pm block-- proved pointless, well almost pointless.

I have had a crazy stomach ache for going on three days now and last night the sinus pressure set in. I am not sure what the deal is... maybe the flu? either way I feel shitty and have been sleeping most of this otherwise beautiful day.

So as I occupy the sofa I remembered I hadn't had my gas service shut off at the old place. Once that task was complete-- what to do? what to do?? something that won't require much movement?? START A BLOG!!


I haven't had a blog since I was 18 and Jonna , Kelly and I had joint blog we used to talk shit about people and bands we knew. It was pretty fun. We kept it a secret from everyone we knew, which only made them want to know the address even more. I think we even sold a false blg address to Michael once. haha oh well.

This should be interesting, as well as a test to how lazy and unproductive my life is.

Some of my favorite blogs right now are my friend Annettes craft blog (daily-craft.blogspot.com) which is amazing. she is amazing. how she finds time to cook, craft, work and attend grad school is beyond me. If I work longer than 8 hours i feel as if my legs will fall off and I will never walk again.
The mates of state (band on the daiper run) is great too! cory posts from the road and tells charming stories of what its like to be a rocker and parent. I love it!
And of course, Kay Hanleys blog. Cause for me, old habits die hard.


So my blog, Wax-Myrtle, will be somewhere between craft- rock - and boring. I don't expect anyone to even really read this. That for me is a problem I think. which has led to the death of my livejournal. Having too many "friends" ( i use the term loosely) have access to my life without them is scary. I really don't have any connection with those former "friends" and always ended up locking my posts to private or deleteing the all together, just to keep my shit private. Although the truth is, i enjoyed blogging long ago, it felt good to get some things off my chest. In fact kind of miss it now.



things going on in my life right now:::
- we are finally in our new house and out of the old appartment. I will miss living in unit 7 in the clean and seemingly safe valley village. But will look forward to the space and freedom living in our noho house will bring.

- we got a DVR! I know, i know, We shouldn't watch so much tv, it will rot our brains. Whatever, it's fucking great! I have set to record the Knitting gritty for me since i ALWAYS miss it! I think it will inpsire me to start knitting again, or at least making things. Creative energy.

-I am getting a dog! I haven't had a dog since I lived in riverside. I love having pets! my cat Fattie, that i've had for over 15 years hasn't had a companion in years and isn't getting any younger. He is fun when he has a friend. At frist he will be moody, but that fades fast. Its just change, it takes time for all creatures to adjust.

Including me. I have hardly slept a full night since we've moved in here. Aside from the stress of moving, i am a freaking sleeper. sleep walker. panic attacks. you name it. I drive poor Danny crazy. If i am not passed out on the couch, i am really not resting much.
I feel safer now, knowing I can at least set our alarm to go off if anything happens, it just won't call the police until we get a land line.


So things to do:
find a new kitchen table
find bench for the porch ( i want wrought iron or metal)
Something like this: only i don't wanna pay $700 for one, i must search thrift shops and flea markets














I think my rite aid Sinus Pressure pills are kicking in. I feel a better and will try to clean up around here.